Original post written on 13/08/2011
The Boy visited in late-January. Bad move, never again; terrible sex (first time for everything as it was always amazing), I didn't feel much for him (taking a wild guess here but I think after December anything was going to be weird when we both realised we liked each other). Also, I got pregnant from our encounter.
He doesn't know. I hope I never have to tell him. I knew he agreed with abortion and never would have gone through with it without his consent otherwise. I was 14 weeks, huge, pregnant with twins (thank you pre-abortive scan) and went through the damn thing alone. However, I have never regretted my decision or hated him for it. I just think it was something that happened and I dealt with it. It wasn't nice, I almost failed teacher training because I got so sick after it, but I did it. Moving on...
We had no contact from the end of January - May. I tried, but he really wasn't interested and I think he had a lot on with his studies (he does a high-flying intensive course at Uni) and perhaps maybe a girl on the scene I thought at the time. Now though, I sincerely think he was just rather busy and things were weird in Jan. I digress...
I finally saw him in June. I had been texting/keeping in contact with him and his wonderful friends from May.
Spent the night with him at a party at Uni. He was severely intoxicated that evening, followed me around and told me he loved me. Went home together, etc... The next morning, nothing... He apparently couldn't remember saying anything to me, I didn't push him (and I certainly did not tell him what he said to me). Whether he can't remember (or can) is anyone's guess. The problem of us showing our true feelings to each other is something that has been around from the beginning and to be honest, I am tired of trying to figure it out after 18 months...
I left him in June 2011 knowing that unlike June 2010, it would not be so easy to see him. I was now a qualified teacher and had a job up north, a considerable distance from Uni and his hometown down south. He knew and still knows that I will not make the effort to see him if he doesn't do the same in return. The last thing I said to him as I kissed him on the cheek was 'I will see you, it is inevitable'. He nodded...I think we both know that distance will not keep us apart for another year... It will have to be something stronger (this...is the rest of my story later!)
By my birthday a month later in July 2011 (after sitting and thinking about him throughout June) I came to a conclusion; If he did not wish me a 'happy birthday' then that was it. I would, and i really meant my promise, get over him.
9.30PM on my birthday? guess who texts me the most banterous, hilarious, made-me-smile-so-thoughtful message? THE BOY.
I replied, then nothing.... Until last night, a month later... The Boy heard our song (U2 - All i want is you), and had to text me and tell me about it. I text him asking what it made him feel. He said 'like I wish i lived closer to you'.
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