As mentioned in the previous post, in order to be with M, I felt like I had to give up/let go all of my feelings aboutThe Boy. I did it at the beginning when things were good with M. But for the last 5 months I've felt myself being more and more drawn back into my old feelings with The Boy. We still speak on most days, and nothing has ever happened/will happen because I really don't want to cheat but I kind of thought that if I'd found someone else he wouldn't want to know/I'd not need to speak to him anymore. Turns out I do...
I make a point not to speak to him about M as I don't think it is fair. I dreamt about him the other night, woke up with a big smile of my face because it was so funny. Lately I haven't been smiling about being with M because I really don't feel like he cares about me at all. With The Boy and I it was so simple when we were together. With M, I always feel like its a struggle being happy with him.
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